Firstly, thank you so much for all the wonderful comments, emails and tweets I have received since my involvement in Where Are My Knees? was announced yesterday. I will never, ever get used to people telling me that I have inspired them. Its incredibly flattering and humbling to know that my words have affected others in that way, and to know that I have played a part, no matter how small, in helping someone else to achieve their dreams. I couldn't have got to where I am today without the love, support and encouragement of my friends, family, and you guys, so I know the importance of having people around you to keep pushing you on towards success. Nobody can lose weight and get healthy unless they want to, but that's not to say that having people around you who understand and care doesn't come in handy from time-to-time. It is an honour and a privilege to know that I've been able to help people who have been struggling with their weight loss, and an incredible source of motivation for me. I don't want to let you guys down.
In regards to my involvement with Where Are My Knees? - I can't thank Gem and Sarah enough for letting me get involved. I know that not all of my followers are weight loss bloggers, but for those of you who are I urge you to head over to WAMK and keep an eye on all thats going on. We're planning to really shake it up over the next few weeks and as its written from five different perspectives there will be something for everyone. So go - follow - be inspired and amused by four (soon to be five) hilarious, talented, beautiful bloggers. I'm not biased, honestly.
In terms of whats going on with me - The Final Push (kind of sounds like the end stages of childbirth, doesn't it!?) is still going strong. The last three days have been full of Weight Watchers minefields, but I feel like I've negotiated them quite well. On Thursday I met my lovely friends Emma and Nikki for drinks after work. We went to Brown's in Leicester Square and had some highly delicious cocktails! I went for a Cosmopolitan and some yummy blackberry thing that I can't remember the name of. After we left we headed for McDonalds for some alcohol-absorbing junk food. Maccy D's is a huge weakness for me. There is no need for a Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal to be so excessively delicious. Though it pained me to do it, I opted for a normal cheeseburger for 8pps, as opposed to 13pps for the Quarter Pounder. Lauren: 1, McDonalds: 0. Of course I did proceed to wash the burger down with a McFlurry, meaning that McDonalds and I finished the evening at one all. Ah well. A small victory is still a victory. There has also been a pizza night (complete with BBQ wings and garlic doughballs) and a BBQ to tempt me off the straight and narrow. While I certainly haven't deprived myself - using up all of my weeklies and some of the exercise points C25K has earned me - I have pointed religiously and made the healthiest options possible.
Despite being as sensible as possible and keeping track of everything, I still feel the tiniest bit guilty. My guilt gene is hard-wired to the self-saboteur in me, and as soon as I realised I'd gone over my weekly points my immediate reaction was 'Well I've blown it now, might as well carry on eating and have another glass of wine.' I know full well that if I do it will make me feel even worse, but thats still my first thought. I am determined not to blow it for this week and I'd absolutely love to see a 3lb+ loss on the scales on Monday morning. So instead of gorging myself on the three bars of Galaxy that are sat in the kitchen cupboard positively screaming my name, I decided to have a little reminisce.
September 2010 | September 2010 | March 2010 | November 2009
March 2012 | January 2012 | July 2012 | March 2012
July 2012 | June 2012 | June 2012 | April 2012
Who is that girl with the chubby cheeks and no neck and huge thighs and three spare tyres?? Oh right, that was me. Weird that in some ways I barely remember the person I used to be, and yet in others its clear as day. I used to dread signing in to Facebook the day after a night out for fear of the horrendous photos that would have inevitably been uploaded (courtesy of Emma, normally!). I would avoid shopping with my friends at all costs because the only thing I could buy in shops like Topshop and Miss Selfridge were handbags and jewellery. I lived in the same leggings and stretchy black denim skirt, both size 20, for the first six months of university because nothing else fit me.
I don't ever want to be scared of signing into Facebook again. I don't ever want to look at a photo of myself and hate my double chin, or bingo wings, or thunder thighs. I want to look at photos and see a small waist. Slim (though admittedly still in need of work) legs. Toned arms. Above all else, I want to look at photos and see someone who is happy, as opposed to a person who hates the way she looks. I've come to accept that I'll never be perfect. I will never have Jess Ennis's abs (come on Team GB!), or Jennifer Aniston's arms, or my friend Sophie's legs. I'm not going to wake up tomorrow looking like Stana Katic no matter how hard I wish for it. But that doesn't mean that I can't be happy with what I've got. After all, I've worked bloody hard for it!
I'm not ashamed or embarrassed of my 'fat' photos. You'll never catch me deleting them from Facebook (well, not now anyway). I cherish the memories of the person that I used to be, because it reminds me of what I never want to be again. Looking back on where I've come from makes me even more determined to get to where I'm going. And its that thought, that reminder of what life used to be like, thats stopping me from reaching for the chocolate.
Even though I could murder a Dairy Milk right now.